Sugar relationships" are mutually beneficial agreements where one person-usually older and financially established, referred to as the "sugar daddy" or "sugar mommy"-pays another person for financial support, gifts, mentorship, or experiences in return for companionship, intimacy, or other relationship involvements.
As it were, sugar relationships vary greatly regarding the preference and agreement of both parties, from platonic companionship to romantic or sexual involvement, as clearly outlined expectations and boundaries in terms of exchanged benefits.
Below are three main reasons why people are likely to be involved in a sugar relationship, as highlighted by the 2020 study.
1. Attaining Self-Fulfillment through a Flexible Partnership
Research has found that individuals open to sugar relationships tend to be high in sociosexuality, meaning they are somewhat more comfortable with casual and less committed experiences. Other findings show that sugar relationships are more accepted by men than by women.
Some argue that sugar dating can function as a "short-term mating strategy," and evolutionary theory holds that men have a sexual psychology impelling them to seek casual, commitment-free intimacy as part of a reproductive strategy. Thus, the sugar relationship allows one to experience short-term intimacy without commitment.
Another 2021 study showed that "sugar daddies" often desire both sexual and emotional reciprocity from their "sugar babies." Simultaneously, it may be a stumbling block to coming across a real, mutual relationship due to such a monetary basis. Monetary incentives make the benefactor question the sincerity of the affection which is being demonstrated by his partner.
Researchers point out that while self-interest tends to drive the dynamic, often for benefactors, both parties normally exclude this experience from the traditional sex industry and attach companionship to it.
2. Self-Love and an Alternative Approach to Relationships
Most individuals who place themselves in a sugar relationship tend to view love and intimacy with a much more self-love approach. Commonly, love tends to be attached to a specific form of exchange which has the tendency to fulfill certain needs or desires.
"Colors of Love" by John Alan Lee in 1973 identified three basic love styles: "Eros" implies passionate and idealistic love; "Ludus" is playful and game-like, without great commitment; and "Storge," or friendship-based love. Individuals with interests in sugar relationships most often possess the "Ludus" style, which has been found linked to high sociosexuality, low commitment, and a higher openness toward transactional relationships.
There, it was noticed that people open to sugar dating usually possess less of the "Eros" love style; hence, when entering such relationships, they look more forward to providing and receiving benefits rather than being passionately and romantically involved.
3. Dark Personality Traits and Sugar Relationships
Further research has investigated how the acceptance of sugar relationships is related to certain dark personality traits, overall referred to as the Dark Triad. These facets included Machiavellianism, showing manipulative, strategic behavior; subclinical psychopathy characterized by exploitativeness and low empathy; and borderline personality disorder traits, such as emotional instability and impulsivity.
People with Dark Triad traits are more likely to be comfortable with friends with benefits and other types of short-term relationships and possibly exploit connections for personal gain. In fact, research shows that this is associated with the "Ludus" style of love, impulsive behavior, and a preference for immediate gratification, which would find transactional arrangements appealing.
For example, Dark Triad traits relate to "foodie calls," wherein a person provides company in exchange for a free meal but with no intention of following through with a relationship.
In another 2017 study, university students who offered companionship or intimacy in exchange for material compensations showed high impulsivity and sensation-seeking tendency, proving the psychological elements that are very much involved in sugar dating dynamics.
Sugar relationships reflect the diversity of various motivations that each individual has for seeking companionship. Most sugar relationships promise immediate gratification, opportunities, and vital resources to both parties. The particular dynamics of sugar relationships uncover complex ways in which people fulfill needs and desires outside of the conventional structure of romance. While these arrangements do indeed vary greatly, safety, consent, and mutual respect are things to be considered in all of them so that both benefactor and recipient benefit from the experience.